BlackVXGTS
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2004
- Messages
- 5,504
- Reaction score
- 2,517
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Melbourne, SE
- Members Ride
- GEN-F2 GTS A6, VS Clubsport 185 A4
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!!
Bugger this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not Happy.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .
" blow that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the footpath!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.
He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I went to the charity bin to get all her clothes back.
The wife was counting all the 5's and 10 cent bits out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of guys saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexist pigs. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing.
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle killer', said he has stabbed six people in the town in the last 48 hours.
Police believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.
The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked.
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service..
Bugger this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not Happy.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .
" blow that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the footpath!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.
He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I went to the charity bin to get all her clothes back.
The wife was counting all the 5's and 10 cent bits out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of guys saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexist pigs. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing.
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle killer', said he has stabbed six people in the town in the last 48 hours.
Police believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.
The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked.
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service..
