Being single in 2011-let the freakshow begin

[Shedvl]

Just curious to hear other peoples amusing stories about being single.
Ive been in 2 long relationships, in the second one I was with my husband for 13 years..and was married for almost ten of those.
Being back single is horrible lol. I tend to get men 50 plus age group trying their luck with me now. On a night out with a girlfriend I had a 60 year old man dance up to me, winking.... I pretended I was lesbian lol. Im on a couple of "dating" sites and I clearly state Im a friendship 1st type of person.
But the parade of freaks is quite strange. I say freaks in a loving, caring kind of way of course

I had 1 guy say in person that I didnt look like my pic..but that he would shag me anyway...after he was extremely drunk mind you lol.
Awesome for my ego to know I can get shagged once the guy is pissed...yay for me limpy lol.
Then as I was trying to get in my car he grabbed me and stuck his tongue down my throat..ewww...then tried to dry hump me on the bonnet of my Holden....well that was the final straw lol....not on my Holden buddy hehe.
The next guy I had a friendly dinner with..and came out from a trip to the ladies room to find him chatting up the waitress. He then got a text from a girl he informed me was 10 years younger than me. Then to top it off...he bought his ex a fridge magnet....apparently she collects them.
The latest few Ive chatted to online were umm amusing. Had 1 guy ask what Id been doing today and I had replied just looking at rims and tyres...he said "Oh dont waste your money on that crap...use it to come visit me"..... yeah right princess lol.

So Ive come to the conclusion that there are no normal people left. Especially in online chatrooms lol. In fact there should be a code.

There are the guys who are sensitive-which means they cry more than me....and probably wax too lol.
The guys who say oh yeah I can be friends and they speak normally for 2 minutes then ask where you want to meet them for sex.
Oh and dont forget the 'open minded" guy. He's the one who's last girlfriend left because she wouldnt let him try out all his weird sexual fetishes and fantasies. This guy carries around a supersize jar of peanut butter and a sticky copy of the magazine bestiality babes.

So tell me about your weird dates and the strange people you have met. This thread is meant to be funny...and its not a man bashing one. Men feel free to tell your stories about the weird women you have met too

 

[DevilDRake]

Wierd women I have met.. you lol?

 

[Shedvl]

Lol....nope havent met...unless you were that 60 year old dude ... and if thats the case Im still lesbo hehe

 

[Shedvl]

Im not offended..most cant take an honest woman. Its because we are rare lol

 

[SS Manual]

Some fine misandry there, try a feminazi forum.

 

[Shedvl]

Why feminazi? does no one have a sense of humour on here lol. Seriously lol. Im sure I put at the bottom of the original post that men can contribute too :smoking:

 

[Shedvl]

I think I will stay off here for a few days. Everytime I put up a thread..some bloke seems to assume its ok to put up pics of fat chicks or put me down in some way. Have to say Im a bit disappointed. I have a good sense of humour, pity some of you cant.

P.S thanks to the guys who have managed to comment on my threads..and not acted like wankers. Cheers

be back another time.

 

[wana s' charge stock vt]

surprised ya dont hav 100 guys off here try'n to get in ya pants as well lol...

 

[shadetreemechanic]

Haha this is Gold...
I can chip in by saying the amount of chicks I met online who are totally nuts is astounding, have yet to find anyone who's half-decent
Good luck to the op, maybe you'll find a decent bloke off jc I'm sure they'd be keen

 

[acex1138]

last year had the worst day of my year where my work day ended with deciding not to go home and go to the beach, 10 seconds after deciding that had a car crash happen in front of me which resulted in me pulling people from the wrecks and doing first aid.

How i met last gf... lasted up until a few months ago.

On the whole it was pretty good, but you put a girl who thinks her country shits over everyone elses and always tries to be alpha into every equation its cute, but it gets old. Especially when you do nice things for them and 9/10 times she doesnt even notice or care.

One of the things thats really gotten on my nerves is the new age treatment towards things, now I dont see anything wrong with a lot of it breaking down some barriers we've had socially before, but when the person your with has a best friend of the opposite gender...... it does get a bit messy.

The amount of girls who've wanted to date where they have a male best friend who you find out on the first date is either their ex, or they've been friends with benefits is an instant sorry your not the one, but yeah..... people these days dont know how to be intimate or in a relationship where its not all me-me-me and this girl i was seeing had this male friend back in germany that fair enough they were best friends, but when your out to dinner and they call, and you've lost her for five minutes on the phone to him while your eating, and how they mention them 125 times a day and swear they arent in love with them but if they have to marry anyone its them, its just not going to work.

She was a great girl, we had a lot of fun, but after 8 months together, travelling all around Australia with her and she suddenly decides to get serious on you while your having lunch in a mall in bunbury, and goes on about how she does want kids but their first language has to be german..... it does kinda make you a bit unsure of your future together..... and being open minded and stuff is one thing, but for her then to go on about how australia has no culture, and she wants HER children to have culture and Hermitage it leads to that annoying 3 hour walk at the beach with her remembering all the good times and just seeing how they dont seem to weigh up against all of the walls she keeps putting up and demands she has, and that inevitable dinner you take her out to later where you tell her, i regret nothing being with you, but im sorry your just not the one.


Kinda had a bender in perth with atleast 3 differant women, and even one as soon as I got off the plane in adelaide still not knowing what I wanted to do and just having a week 'off' in the relationship way...... just stopped messing around and just realised that..... the next time I wanted a real relationship and I wasnt going to go into one again with someone unless I thought they could feel something back.

Mate of mine signed me up on oasis while we were having drinks at his place...... had been on there before and know the kinda freakshow girl, dont know about men with peanut butter they want to smear around but i've had the girl who tells you on the first time meeting about the 48 guys shes slept with, the one who's liberated and wants to experience a night with a guy and a girl..... like seriously you meet up with her in a club and she tells you she wants to screw you back at her place, and then tells you that you need to find a girl to come back with you and her.

The other fun one I found on there in the past was all these girls form school who were with their perfect guys, who usually have the passionately hate filled pages of dont want to be stuffed around, or the ex christian ones who just want to have fun exploring their sexuality. This time around when my mate signed me up, I was pretty open with all the girls who added me that i just got out of a relationship and didnt really know what i was looking for. 75% of them offered me sex straight up, and the rest of them assumed I wanted sex, and one of them was actually nice and I met up with her, only normal girl i've ever met off that site, so they do exist on there.

But still..... in that place where its still hasnt been that long since hte last relationship... and sleeping around isnt going to help it...... so just waiting for that next girl to come along..... best advice i can say is sometimes.... not looking can be the coolest thing.

Two best relationships I ever had came along when I wasnt looking, and by the time I knew we were dating, I didnt even realise it, just went from hanging out, to her wrapped around you and kissing you at the end of the night

Im about to head east next week so be open to a whole ton of new experiences on the coast, even a girl over there who messages me everyday im pretty interested to meet. it's the cool thing about forums and gaming and stuff, some of the people you meet of here can become some pretty cool good mates

and yeah shadetreemechanic most online chicks are freaking nymphos. Theres one who lives down the road from me at holden hill I met who told me she wasnt looking for sex...... invited me around one night so she could get some futurama off me. 5m into futurama was all over me pulls out a tub from under her bed full of some of the feakiest sex toys and stuff and as im like those are.... she wacks in a ball gag and im just like this isnt where i parked my car and just got outta there. Thank f*** she doesnt know I live down the road.

But knock online all you want, the worst offender of all, i met in a club last year..... some how im now good mates with her even tho I really dont like her, met her at the dublin in, one of the hottest girls I have ever seen, got wasted dirty danced, made out, phones didnt work so stole a texter from the bar went home with her number down my arm took ages to wash off. called her next day got a date, she seemed really awesome. Took her out to a nice lavish date and movie, spent like $150 on the night. Went all out she kept talking about her family how it was so important. End of the night gives me biggest passionate kiss ever im thinking this is awesome. Tells me we're on for date #2.

Next day is saturday she sends me all these messages of being at a party already drunk and how the dj is really hot. im like wtf. she starts going on about whether she could hook up with him or not. im like wtf.... are u serious. shes like oh you didnt think we were together yet. im like well were not going to be after this, but still when you agree to go on a date with someone you dont do **** like that. and she starts sending me all these messages about how her last bf ruined her. After i berrate her about the messages im like well if he ruined you fix yourself up this aint going to help. Next day she starts messaging me about how she always wanted to experiment with a girl, did I know anyone....

This girl has even tried to get me to take her to a movie so we can have sex in the mt barker cinemas..... also wants a guy to hit her and spit on her. crazy freaking stuff.

Shedvl find yourself a younger guy in their 20s if you want sex, there are guys out their into cougars, if you actually want something substancial.... of all things try church or volunteer work. Tons of single guys there who are divorced because their wives treated them like crap and they want a decent girl, or have gone into it to meet girls because they are tired of the new age women who want to have sex and think about relationships later.

Failing that farmer wants a wife. Just pick the farmer who knows a big block isnt in his pants