Brain power of apprentices

[VNexecutive]

foreman: "the forklift wont start, i think the batterys dead"

1st year apprentice: "cant you just pushstart it?"

says it all.

 

[HARVZ-6]

I must say, going through MTA.... i saw some pretty odd people there...

i reckon 1/10 people actually had previously touched a car mechanically, or were capable of taking in information and instruction...


luckily i dont have to go there, good old ohalloran hill tafe instead haha slightly higher percentage of people that have some idea whats going on

 

[sik_dose]

I did a pre apprenticeship through MTA and i met a mechanic at holden that looked like one of the angry beavers.

 

[GUS009]

lol, most of the appretices are high school dropouts... how intelligent do you actually expect them to be?

aZk.

you wanka mate there is a difference between being educated and being intelligent... there are that many people finishing year 12 and even university degrees and they are as smart as pot plants.. i finished school at the end of grade 10 worked as a electrical security tech for two years then applied to go the Airforce, in the maths and aptitude test i score the highest that the recruitment officer had seen in the two years she had been in the job, and thats up against all the year 12 grads and so on. ended up choosing not to go and now im a apprentice panel beater and am loving the job.

 

[fuzzy2308]

its different when you go to take a piss and he follows you to the toilet and is still waiting outside when your finished

maybe he wants to hold it for ya

 

[VjamesY]

maybe he wants to hold it for ya

Its all part of the experience isnt it? hhaha

 

[LthlThrt]

was working with my father, and we had the rocker cover off, and he tapped the ratchet on the head when i was looking, and goes
dad: ****, the idle fell in the sump!!!,
me:good one
dad:get it out i need a berr
me:arghhh okay

dad goes in, i rip sump off had to jack engine off mounts bla bla (was about 12 at the time) dad cmes back out half laughing, did u get it? im like, cant find it, and then he pisses himself, then i realise idle and sump doesnt match up.......FML

i was helping a mate replace a sump in his magna, and thanks to this thread got a good laugh, i was tightening up the sump and made a clank on the sump, and i said sh!t jut dropped the idle in the sump so my mate goes sh!t that is expensive? i was like it is going to be nearly 2 weeks pay, and he is like oh f**k then i told him, he thought it was pretty funny after he stopped getting sh1tty at me.
thank you mate mad him laugh, he was having such a sh1tty day.

 

[aj1987]

I'm 22, I too used to be an apprentice, and now i have trained about 5... all of therm cleaned the dunnies and all of them swept the floor or emptied the waste oil drums. However, when i quit my last job, one of them became manager...
And guess which one, the one who dished it back, laughed it off, and best of all, did what he was told. Well done to him. As for the others, assist manager and ordering/asset manager. All of them are now highly paid, highly trained, and worth their weight in gold.

 

[VTLS1]

forgot i started this post & just had a read through it all. some good little jokes,pranks etc a bit of slinging of manure between tradies & brainiacs as well,lol. between the manure there was one good point,if your happy in what you do thats all that really matters. as for the comment about get a stuffed back & get a big sum of money,thats a load of bs. after 20 or so years of working on cars my back is stuffed beyond repair & i havent seen one red cent in compo for it,even though its proven why it is stuffed etc. it dont quite work how people think anymore,especially if your boss knows whats what they can legally get around paying you out in any huge lump sum as has been suggested. i still work in the industry but i cant do half of what i used to(which pees me off to put it politely) & what i can do sometimes take me twice as bloody long as it should. in saying that i dont regret for one minute being a tradie,it hasnt made me rich,it hasnt made me poor but at times its been a joyride & the rest of the time a hellride,lol.

 

[no-doof]

As the great Kevin Bloody Wilson once sang...

Pull me pants down 'round me ankles shave me pubic hair,
Grease me balls with old sump oil and chain me to a chair,
Hoist me up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Then it's off the store with an order form for a bucket of welding sparks
And a left handed hammer and a corkscrew spanner and a sheet of broken glass
And a can of striped paint to paint the sky hook with to hang me push bike on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Yeah then it's off to the office in me underpants for a dip in the typin' pool,
And see if they've got some plastic wrap for a female fattenin' tool,
Or a cheesy muff burger with heaps of sauce and a randy tart for lunch,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Some one **** in me sandwich box pissed in me thermos flask,
Singed me eyebrows off with an oxy torch stuck an air hose up me arse,
Pinched the wheels off me ####in' push bike peirced me ear with a rivet gun,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Yeah I'm only the apprentice and I've put up with all this ****,
And I'll get through this apprenticeship if these arse'oles let me live,
And I can hardly wait for the day 'till I'm a tradesman too,
And I'll get me a ####in' apprentice... he he... ya know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna pull his pants down 'round his ankles shave his pubic hair,
Grease his balls with old sump oil and chain him to a chair,
Hoist 'im up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun!