come backs.....

[Nobody Actually]

Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?


You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.


I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

 

[Pretender]

My friend at school was constantly picked on by a group of "popular"girls who would tell him how ugly he was. The leader started on him one day and his reply was " Well at least if I was a girl I'd have Tits".
This girl was 15 and flat chested and burst into tears. They never called him ugly again but he did get confronted by many of their boyfriends who didn't really want to fight, for good reason, but wanted to appear tough in front of the girls. What these guys actually said to him was a lot different from what they told the girls they had said.

 

[cracker]

if ur in an agrument and ur losing u say
do you want my come back? its on ur mums face

 

[stocky]

if ur in an agrument and ur losing u say
do you want my come back? its on ur mums face

never heard that before. thats awesome

 

[MTB]

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead.

If you had another brain, it would be lonely.

 

[ProMaX]

lol i heard this the other day
its kinda lame but i laughed

Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants

lol i posted that in the pick up lines thread ages back

 

[sircruisealotVS]

one of my mates has this thing were he always has a come back which insults your face...
like, someone says "whats your problem, you wanna fight me or something?!"
and his response will be "i dont wanna fight you, you've got a face like a torn ugg boot" - or same line, different ending " i dont wanna fight you, you've got a face like a dropped pie"..etc..
another favourite is taken straight from rodney rude, it can be a come back for anything - "shut up mate, your mum wears army boots", random as hell, but funny.

 

[stylin_vr2]

if ur in an agrument and ur losing u say
do you want my come back? its on ur mums face

pmsl if i was a guy, id SOO use that!! :yeah:

 

[Trennaa]

If someone knocks the mother scenario.. it sounds MAJOR degrading and wrong.. but gets the WTF face happening.. scenario in general convo:

Person: oh ya mother's a real good one eh!
Me: Oh.. did you pay her for the services
Person: uhm.. no.. ?
Me: Oh ya prick.. thats my ****ing petrol money!!!

 

[R0d]

I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead.

.

:rofl: nice one