A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I have been finding real passion with Emma and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight leather clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant. Emma said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children and claiming benefits for them all. Emma has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and heroin. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Emma can get better. She deserves it, as she gives a great blow-job Don't worry Dad. I'm 14 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren and great grandchildren, even tough they are Ragheads. Love Your Son Johnny PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school report, which is on the side. I love you.......call me when it's safe to come home!!..