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Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by _Mukas_, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. _Mukas_

    _Mukas_ DJ Titan...Hardstyle guru

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    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me".

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words That every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.


    The next day I took the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

    We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

    "WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    :bang:
     
  2. Bax

    Bax Projecting

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    haha, still love that - instant divorce.
     
  3. Jecs

    Jecs PAVTEK Race Engines Staff Member

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    haha :w00t:
     
  4. Stupa

    Stupa New Member

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    that a killer mate
     
  5. vyssls1

    vyssls1 sw only EFILIVE Tuner

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    i rest my case your honour
     
  6. VKStevo

    VKStevo New Member

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    oooh i think some1's taken some things a lil bit 2 far
     
  7. TheForgotten

    TheForgotten only human......

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    hahahaha I know someone who would do exactly that too
     
  8. _Mukas_

    _Mukas_ DJ Titan...Hardstyle guru

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    ide probly do it...but not on such a massive scale...cop that bitch!
     

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