OK.... SO.... FIXED....
Firstly, thanks for the help and diagram.
so what was it. this could happen to anyone...
at some point, the steering wheel controls have been changed out for controls from a standard VY...
i make this assumption because holden do not write "VY" in yellow marker on the parts before fitting.
now, i find mixed reports that the steering wheel control buttons light up on a VY SS... not sure if the original ones in this car ever did or not, but the illumination wire is there for the to light up... obviously the replacement buttons do not light up.
Shown here the wires going into the clock spring.
Brown (steering wheel control) | Brown/White (Illumination) | Black/White (Ground) | Black/Yellow (Horn) | (airbag)
i found that the Brown, and Brown/white wires were going straight to the steering wheel control wiring plug. This meant that without lights on i had a ground for the resister loop, but i had a +12v being fed back through the buttons to the brown wire while the lights were on.
so to fix this, i removed one of the pins from the steering wheel control plug (the pin that was going to the illumination wire) and through it to ground.
i did this using a crimp terminal, so i could return it to standard wiring if/when i put light up steering wheel controls back in
so all in all, very happy to have this fixed...
i hope this information helps as least one person at some time in the future.