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State of Origin Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by S.T.K.E, May 26, 2010.

  1. S.T.K.E

    S.T.K.E Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

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    Three guys - a Tasmanian, a Queenslander and a New South Welshman - are out walking along the beach together one day.

    They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the genie.

    The Tasmanian says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

    With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish.

    The New South Welshman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around NSW, so that we can run our own State how we feel, and no hippie southerner can tell us what to do. I want it so nothing and no-one will get in or out for all eternity."

    Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around NSW.

    The Queenslander asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

    The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

    The Queenslander says, "Fill it up with water.

    --------------------------------------

    Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?

    They had pictures of NSW players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

    --------------------------------------

    Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.

    The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."

    The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

    Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."

    The fourth one says, "I prefer NSW fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.

    ----------------------------------------

    Q. What do NSW fans and sperm have in common?

    A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.


    --------------------------------------------


    "Doctor, Doctor, my vagina keeps shouting, "Go THE BLUES!" over and over again and it won't stop.

    Doctor: "Yes, there have been a lot of ****s saying that lately"
     
  2. Holden_Man

    Holden_Man Coffin Dodger

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    Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting.

    He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"

    God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

    "Its a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

    God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people."

    God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?"

    "Ah," said God. "That's Queensland, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, impressive towns; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from Queensland are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,"What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"

    God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the wankers I'm putting next to them in New South Wales."
     
  3. Dangerous Dave

    Dangerous Dave Donating Member

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    The state of Origin has been moved to the Adult Channel.

    Apparently, 17 NSW assholes being hammered for 80 minutes is tooo explicit for Free to Air TV.
     
  4. Swordsy

    Swordsy mmmm beer....

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    QLD, gods country, pity its full of wankers :p
     
  5. Holden_Man

    Holden_Man Coffin Dodger

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    So true. I heard a rumour that the QLD government is working on a plan to remove the NSWelshmen.
     
  6. Stressball

    Stressball Rolling on 4 again :D

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    Victorians mate. Surely you know that NSW only exists as a barrier to slow the migration of fogeys from Victoria to QLD?
     
  7. Holden_Man

    Holden_Man Coffin Dodger

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    LOL They need bigger barriers.
     
  8. maldotcom2

    maldotcom2 New Member

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    This thread is so ironic.:rofl2: So far there's only 2 jokes relating to football.
     
  9. minux

    minux Infidel Bear

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    I havent seen any jokes relating too football? Seen a few related to sniffarse throwball though :p
     
  10. S.T.K.E

    S.T.K.E Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

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    Because we dont have soccer teams in QLD........
     
  11. Holden_Man

    Holden_Man Coffin Dodger

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    Sokka? What's that?
     
  12. S.T.K.E

    S.T.K.E Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

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    Be ****ed if i know
     
  13. Swordsy

    Swordsy mmmm beer....

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    sokka? isn't that the one with 4 posts at either end of the field?
     
  14. Mattrez

    Mattrez New Member

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    If you put a big condom on a big #### and
    you put a small condom on a small ####....
    what do you put on a soft ####???

    A NSW jersey...
     
  15. commoVT

    commoVT New Member

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    did you hear that they are changing the colour of Viagra to maroon because nothing blue has hardened up for at least 5 years
     
  16. commoVT

    commoVT New Member

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    whats the hardest thing about playing for NSW?
    telling everyone your gay
     
  17. monkeys437

    monkeys437 New Member

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    Anyone know if its going live in Melbourne? Im a mad AFL man but get a kick outa watching both the rugby codes, NFL and to a lesser extent Sokka. Knowing the Knobs at Ch 9 it will be on sometime after midnight tho
     
  18. Troy711

    Troy711 Retired Old Fart

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    Honestly, the biggest joke regarding the 2011 State of Origin is the NSW Blues team. Here comes a record 6 series wins for QLD, I can smell it.
     
  19. minux

    minux Infidel Bear

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    Nothing like a failing sport thread revival.

    How many will be at the game tonight? 4-5 hundred? lol, NRL = Fail throw ball.

    I bet if you put a chick in the middle of the field you could stop the entire game while they all watch and take turns in screwing it.
     
  20. Julie

    Julie moderator- for now anyway

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    Yeh you are probably right and this certainly wouldn't happen in AFL it would need to be a bloke for them to screw :p
     

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