Do you have a HR department or a HR rep you can talk to? They, whilst employed and paid for by your company, should remain independant and be able to give both side the correct standpoint and interpretation of the companies policies.
Ask them for some advise.
Hope you don't become thwe scapegoat for your company to enforce a policy. Stay on your toes and be VERY careful what you say to whom in your work place
Have to agree here too. I am a safety rep at my work place and we deal with this quite often as well.
Unfortunately you can be talking to one of your friends, and someone standing around the corner you didn't even know was there could be listening and taking offense to what you say, and they can have you for harassment, without you even knowing they overheard you talking. As innocent as something might be to you, it can blow up and be something huge to someone else. (total crap i know, as they weren't even involved in that conversation in the first place).
Everywhere you go, this is the way it is, and Companies have to take it seriously. I'm sorry you are going thru this, and i would recommend you go get some advice, as this could turn fairly nasty. Best thing you can do is arm yourself with information (the right kind) to help your case.
Very firs tthing you are entitled to do, is ask what you said to offend the third party, you also have the right to have a discussion with that third party in the bosses office or with the HSE to try and sort this out ASAP. You still have rights and you are entitled to excersize them, all throught the right channels of course.
Good luck with it, and please if you don't mind keep me informed as to the process your company takes and the outcome.
Check these out:
http://www.dmp.wa.gov.au/documents/Code_of_Practice/MSH_COP_PreventionManagementOfViolence.pdf
http://www.health.wa.gov.au/circularsnew/attachments/402.pdf
