Bad Jokes!

[social]

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

haha... i love this thread lmao

 

[coolvxss]

Andrew Johns was the better player out of the johns brothers, but matty certainly knows how to put his team mates in holes.

 

[coolvxss]

The NRL has dropped all charges and reinstated matthew johns. apparently the kiwi bird didnt know about the interchange laws

 

[coolvxss]

Finally know that the NZ haka's all about. come matty come matty come matty.......

 

[stato queen]

I'd tell ya's the joke about the butter,
but ya's would only spread it.

 

[BOY1236]

A boy asks his dad , where do we come from ?

the dad says ok , and start the Sex Talk ..... daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina .... pregnancy ...etc

the dad asks why did u ask about that ?

the boy answer after a small pause.... : "My friend Bob says that they came from the UK"

dad blow beer out of his nose xD

 

[Jecs]

In 1923, who was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street?


These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days. Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them.

The Answers:
1. The president of the largest steel company - Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company - Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE - Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator - Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement - shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street - Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.


The Moral:

F**k work...Play golf.

 

[hsvpunk]

If the global crisis continues at the present rate,
by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational:
The Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank.
And before you know it, these two will merge,
and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.

 

[TrikkBen]

This one u have to ask someone and hope for the right response..

Question
"What would win in a race between a hare and a piecost"

Their Response
"What's a piecost"

Your Response
About $2.50


tehehe

 

[BOY1236]

Question
"What would win in a race between a hare and a piecost"

Their Response
"What's a piecost"

Your Response
About $2.50

??? ...... it maybe only me .... lol