Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I asked my girlfriends father if I could marry his daughter

I've never been so happy in my life.

He told me to fuk off.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I’ve always suffered with a bad back. Years and years . I went to the docs , please do something .He referred me to specialist . When I saw him , he said there’s a cure in America,but it’s sixty thousand dollars . I said I don’t care anything . What’s the cure , he said well they inject mercury into the spine . Wow isn’t that dangerous . No he said , it’s safe . But there’s one drawback . What’s that I asked . He said , well In summer you’re nine foot three and in winter you’re two foot six

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.

The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled parts.

Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.

"That ought to be obvious," he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. "The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A bloke goes into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm and says, "Do you do fishcakes?"

"Yeah." Replied the chippy owner.

"Good," says the bloke pointing at the salmon, "it's his birthday."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A new virus which is spreading a hundred times quicker then Coronavirus has been discovered, the imasthickasshit virus affects people’s ability to social distance properly, people with the imasthickasshit virus will go out to parks and beauty spots in their droves with no worries about spreading the Coronavirus. Doctors think that Coronavirus and imasthickasshit virus could be connected, but are worried by the speed imasthickasshit virus is spreading, if you see a group of people drinking tinnies in a public area please keep well clear of them!

 

[Mavericks Choice]