Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Its dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” “I have a baseball.” “That’s nice.” “Want to buy it?” “No, thanks.” “My dad’s outside.” “OK, how much?” “$250.″
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the man are in the closet together. “Its dark in here.” “Yes, it is.” “I have a baseball glove.” The man remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?” “$750″ “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” “$1,000″ The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Two fellas walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “That's them”. The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. “Yeah, we'll take four of them birds in that cage up there,” says Gerry. “Put them in a paper bag.” The clerk does this and the two men pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. “This looks like a grand place, eh?” says Gerry. “Oh, yeah, this looks good,” replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. “I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?” says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds, followed by a ‘SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, “Screw that, this budgie jumpin' is too dangerous for me…”

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish.
"I wish to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant that particular wish."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die the day after parliament is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people's best interests!"
"You crafty bastard," replied the fairy.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Mrs Pete Monaghan came into the newspaper office to pay for her husband's death notice. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar per word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away.
She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. So she wrote out the obituary, “Pete died.” The newsman took a look and said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words at no charge.
Mrs Pete Monaghan thanked him and changed it to: “Pete died. Boat for sale”.