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Advice on tracking down family of deceased former girlfriend - NSW.

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Calaber, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    I've thought about contacting former colleagues but as I retired over eight years ago, I'm so out of touch with them, and really don't know who would know anything, that it's another dead-end.

    I checked my list of family members and realised that I was off the mark when I said I thought I might have the husband's Facebook page. Whilst I do have someone with his name, I suspect he might be too young. The other contact, the one that seems more positive, is actually her older sister's husband. It would probably be much better if I can contact her through him as any question about sensitivity over old relationships wouldn't occur.

    @Hertz Donut

    Yes, good guessing about the ages. She was just 16 and I was just shy of 18 when our relationship started. It's not so much the fact that we were friends at that age that has me going through this. It's a couple of photos I have taken during the 1974 trip to Kyogle to attend the wedding. She looks so young, fit and lovely and has a wistful expression and pose in one pic that makes it so hard to understand how she could be gone in just over six years that has done it. Whilst we had finished our original relationship at that time, we were still friends and I know that I could have re-kindled things then and there if I'd been smart enough. Neither of us was in any relationship at that time. Opportunity lost.....And to this day, I still have a Christmas card she sent me in 1972. (As I said - I'm hopelessly sentimental. That card will never be thrown out - it's one of those keepsakes we all have at least one of).
     
  2. pebbs

    pebbs Member

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    Have you tried birth death and marriages in her state?
    A fee is involved however it is not large and that would give you the info you need wouldnt it?
     
  3. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    That was one of my first options and would have answered everything but the website says that they will only be provided to next of kin or someone authorised by next of kin. Unfortunately, that ain't me.
     
  4. pebbs

    pebbs Member

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    Try this site, looks like anyone can apply for the fee of 32 dollars.
    Family History
     
  5. vc commodore

    vc commodore Well-Known Member

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    This would be a good idea.....If you can remember the name of an old colleague, or even ring your old workplace, you might get lucky....It will only become a dead end, when no one can remember her, or know where she went.
     
  6. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Thanks Pebbs. Reasonable fee and no formal authorisation required from family members. I'll give that a shot as I think a Death Certificate might provide one or two facts I'm after.
     
  7. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Update time. I have ordered a full transcription of the death certificate as suggested by Pebbs. Thanks mate. It will take a few weeks to arrive via email - there appears to be quite a backlog.

    The sample certificate on the website indicates the range of info these documents provide and it will answer quite a few questions for me without having to trouble family members about a particularly delicate topic. I would only need to find out what she did between 1974 and 1980.
     
  8. greenacc

    greenacc Searching for the billion

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    How did you come to know she had passed away? Do you know where she now rests?

    Perhaps the best thing you could do now is join facebook yourself. That will help you keep in touch with or at least stay informed aboutwit all the remaining friends, family, ex colleagues etc etc so now more fade away into history. I've been surprised how many old friends it has reconnected me with, and i'm only half as old as you!
     
  9. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    I was going through some old papers in a file and found that Christmas card she had sent me way back in 1972 when we were both working in separate NSW country towns.

    Wondering how she was getting on, I punched her name into Google to see if anything came up. Bang! First entry. She had been registered on an unusual genealogy site called Red1st.com. It also gave her married name, date of birth, date of death, husband's and siblings names so I had a fair bit to go with to start searching but it hasn't led to much so far.

    Place of burial might be on the certificate if she was interred. Not sure about cremation though. That might have to come from the family.

    I've started to think that FB might be of some personal benefit because I have drifted away from so many people who were important parts of my youth and i know are FB members because I've asked the other half to look them up.

    Today might just see a new FB member.
     
  10. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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    When I joined FB I put my settings to Private so if you are my friend you can view my account.

    If I sent you my name and you typed it in to FB you can`t access my account.

    I had a guy hit my VS anyway didn`t hear from him so did a search on FB he had been away everything he was telling was true so I wasn`t worried he was going to pay.
    Anyway I`ll get to the point about going private while looking at his account his girlfriend`s name came up I could find out where she worked.

    So your Wife may find you.
    And the more people you knew and tell what you are doing the more chance you have of getting found out.

    Anyway I hope you find what you are looking for.

    Good luck.
    Pete
     
  11. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Im not going to hide joining FB from her. I have already told her that it would be nice to be able to contact those old friends so I have plenty of sound reasons to join. The one reason I haven't joined before now is less significant than it was and this search is far more important to me.

    This search is very private. It won't be getting circulated.

    Question; Is asking to be a friend the only way you can initially contact a member or is there a PM setup?
     
  12. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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    I`m a baby at FB.
    Someone else on here should know.

    Or just try it.
     
  13. pebbs

    pebbs Member

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    If you want to keep it private I wouldn't go to FB,
     
  14. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Yeah, by private I meant keeping the inquiries to the bare minimum and only approaching people after I had as much info as possible to narrow the field down. No friends or relo's to be involved. But I understand your point. FB is pretty open despite its "safeguards".

    Another question. Can the other half see who I have been in touch with IF she's not a friend? (Though that won't be possible, obviously).
     
  15. pebbs

    pebbs Member

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    Mate you never know who knows who. Went to Canada years ago and was talking to a guy never met before.
    when I eventually got home to my town I ran into a guy down the RSL who told me about his friend in Canada whom I had met, to small a world for me Im afraid.
     
  16. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Hmm. Perhaps might hold off on FB then for a bit. At this stage, I might sit tight and wait for the certificate to see how much info it provides. The only other info the family members could provide would be to fill the details of in those last years about work and after all this time, they may not be clear on them anyway.

    It's times like that that it would have been handy to still be working. From my position at the time of my retirement, I might have been able to contact personnel and seek details of her final years of service. Hell, I don't even know if she was still employed by the Police Department when she passed away. She'd had two children so she might have left before then to care for them.
     
  17. greenacc

    greenacc Searching for the billion

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    I meant you could join FB to connect with other mates not necessarily related to this lost GF, or both.
    Yes, you can PM someone on FB who you are not friends with. I'm not 100% sure if that depends on their privacy settings though. It's always worked when Ive needed to do this.
     
  18. Dayvo

    Dayvo Because i can

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    Ok you know where she used to work so if you Goggle the company it might have a Facebook page.
     
  19. mpower

    mpower Well-Known Member

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    Join FB, review all privacy settings, only give FB the info you want to or even make some of it up. It only knows what you tell it.

    Also you can just message people you find and ask questions.

    Click "Find Friends" fill out the bits under in "Search for Friends" click their name so it goes to their page, then hit "Message" right next to "Add Friend".

    Keep and eye out for responses.

    repeat.
     
  20. Dayvo

    Dayvo Because i can

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    You don't even have to use your own name. You can join FB using the name John Smith if you want
     

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