After just reading and commenting on your thread about Moderators, I have come to the conclusion that:
You are probably just being a jerkoff now and trying to get yourself banned.
Seriously mate, if the forum bothers you that much just log out and don't come back.
But on a more serious note
I don't know you personally or your situation, but if you are seriously as troubled as you are making out in this thread: Man up, grow a set of balls and deal with your issues, make the effort to go and talk to someone like a psyhchiatrist, not some dingbat on a phone. Get yourself some help Think about your Fiance and the rest of your family you will be leaving behind and how it will effect them if you go through with any of this...
Babbling on about topping yourself on a public forum isn't going to help you out in anyway at all, and almost everyone is going to call it bullshit and laugh it off anyway.
I really hope you get yourself sorted out.