Welcome to Just Commodores, a site specifically designed for all people who share the same passion as yourself.
Joke of the Day
- Thread starter Mavericks Choice
- Start date
Rocketeer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 11,768
- Points
- 78
- Age
- 63
- Location
- Vietnam
- Members Ride
- Honda
Wonderful English from Around the World
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
A Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS, WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS, IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID .
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS,
AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
And finally, the all-time classic, seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
A Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS, WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS, IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID .
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS,
AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
And finally, the all-time classic, seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.
Mavericks Choice
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2007
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 25,969
- Points
- 93
- Location
- NSW
- Members Ride
- VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
Mavericks Choice
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2007
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 25,969
- Points
- 93
- Location
- NSW
- Members Ride
- VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
My long lost brother is returning on Sunday. I haven't seen him since he left Ireland thirty years ago,' said Mick. 'He wrote to say he'll be arriving at Shannon airport at eight in the morning.'
'If he's been away that long,' asked Sean, 'how will you recognise him?'
'I won't,' reasoned Mick. 'But he'll recognise me cos I've never been away at all..
'If he's been away that long,' asked Sean, 'how will you recognise him?'
'I won't,' reasoned Mick. 'But he'll recognise me cos I've never been away at all..
hademall
Donating Member
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2018
- Messages
- 1,756
- Reaction score
- 6,487
- Points
- 113
- Age
- 66
- Location
- Victoria
- Members Ride
- VF CALAIS WAGON
An American was driving around rural Ireland when he came across an Irish farmer sitting on his gate.
“Is this your farm?” Said the American to the Irish farmer. “It is indeed to be sure to be sure” said Paddy the farmer. To which the American said “Back in the States it takes me from 8 in the morning until 8 in the evening to drive around my farm”
Paddy responded “yes I had a car like that once”
“Is this your farm?” Said the American to the Irish farmer. “It is indeed to be sure to be sure” said Paddy the farmer. To which the American said “Back in the States it takes me from 8 in the morning until 8 in the evening to drive around my farm”
Paddy responded “yes I had a car like that once”
Mavericks Choice
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2007
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 25,969
- Points
- 93
- Location
- NSW
- Members Ride
- VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
I've just hit a course record of 63 on my local golf course..
Now for the second hole!!..
Now for the second hole!!..
Rocketeer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 11,768
- Points
- 78
- Age
- 63
- Location
- Vietnam
- Members Ride
- Honda
Last night my wife wanted us both to fantasize we were different people
when we made love to each other she said she wanted me to be George Clooney,
I said ok but for some reason she stormed out of the bedroom when I asked
her to be the hot little 18 year old office junior that goes for the sandwiches at work.
when we made love to each other she said she wanted me to be George Clooney,
I said ok but for some reason she stormed out of the bedroom when I asked
her to be the hot little 18 year old office junior that goes for the sandwiches at work.
Rocketeer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 11,768
- Points
- 78
- Age
- 63
- Location
- Vietnam
- Members Ride
- Honda
Chat up lines through the ages
1920: "May I have this dance?"
1950: "Want to go to the drive-in?"
1980: "What's your star sign?"
2021: "Here's a picture of my penis."
1920: "May I have this dance?"
1950: "Want to go to the drive-in?"
1980: "What's your star sign?"
2021: "Here's a picture of my penis."
Rocketeer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 11,768
- Points
- 78
- Age
- 63
- Location
- Vietnam
- Members Ride
- Honda
Patrick was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day.
Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 kilos.
"When Patrick returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30 kilos!
"Why, that's amazing", the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Patrick nodded. "I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 'tird day."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from the fuckin' skippin'."
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day.
Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 kilos.
"When Patrick returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30 kilos!
"Why, that's amazing", the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Patrick nodded. "I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 'tird day."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from the fuckin' skippin'."