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Joke of the Day
- Thread starter Mavericks Choice
- Start date
Mavericks Choice
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Mick and Ed are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
and drinking beer when suddenly Ed says,
'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife -
she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
Mick spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over,
women like that are hard to find.'
and drinking beer when suddenly Ed says,
'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife -
she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
Mick spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over,
women like that are hard to find.'
Mavericks Choice
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A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. When the officer approached the car the man immediately became beligerant for being pulled over. The officer finally having his fill of the guys lip told him "shut up. I'm going to haul you in and put you in jail until the chief gets back." The guy relizing he has gotten himself in deep trouble Began to try and explain his way out of it. "But, officer, I just wanted to say"the officer cut him off and told him once again "to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Mavericks Choice
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Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn''t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you''ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history...
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you''ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history...
1985VK
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Flawless MALE LOGIC.
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: About $5.00, which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary!)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man: Correct.
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000,correct?
Man: Correct.
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.
Man: Where's your Ferrari then?
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: About $5.00, which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary!)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man: Correct.
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000,correct?
Man: Correct.
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.
Man: Where's your Ferrari then?
Mavericks Choice
Well-Known Member
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A distraught senior citizen phoned her
Doctor's' office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the
Medication you prescribed has to be taken for the
rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor
told her
There was a moment of silence before the
senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then,
just
how serious is my condition because this
Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
Doctor's' office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the
Medication you prescribed has to be taken for the
rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor
told her
There was a moment of silence before the
senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then,
just
how serious is my condition because this
Prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
Mavericks Choice
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2007
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 25,787
- Points
- 93
- Location
- NSW
- Members Ride
- VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a
Renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your
best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a
Renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your
best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."