Joke of the Day

[VZ SV6 REBUILD]

View attachment 203687

 

[VZ SV6 REBUILD]

View attachment 203688

 

[VZ SV6 REBUILD]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.

As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly..

As the ambulance takes the body away,

Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife. Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?' 'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.

'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'

'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.

'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."

She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'

Then I said, ‘I'll betcha a case of beer you are...'

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Little Johnny returns again..
The teacher returned to work following time off with stress after her most recent Little Johnny word description, she spent time thinking of a word that could only work one way and now, spirit up, says to the class “OK, can someone tell me a sentence that uses the word exceptional”
Little Johnny’s hand stays down, “He’s thinking, he’s thinking, I’ve beaten him” she thinks to herself and calls to Susan who already had her hand up to give her sentence.
“Well miss, the weatherman said this spring will be exceptionally cold”
“Good try Susan but that’s the word exceptionally, not exceptional. Stuart you…” with a growing sense of dread she notices Johnny put his hand up “.. tell us how you have heard the word EXCEPTIONAL used” emphasising the word loudly
the teacher thinks with fading anticipation of what could soon be said ‘ what has he got, how, can’t be possible’ she thinks to herself, suddenly feeling better that she was worrying for no reason.
“Miss, you said that no one can have time off except if they are sick”
“ Sorry Stuart, that is completely wrong, think it through” she says starting to panic -now the realisation hits that the only hand up is Johnny’s – and he’s jumping up and down to be asked , ‘ OK, you spend 3 weeks stress leave and worked out that this word can’t be misused, you’ve got to hear him as he must get this right at last’ the teacher thinks to herself,
“Ok Johnny, how do you see the word E X C E P T I O N A L” she barks the letters out one by one, “ used”
“I overheard my sister talking to her friend the day before Valentines day" says Little Johnny continuing " they were discussing my sister’s new boyfriend and how he had promised to get her a big bottle of smelly tommorrow, she said "if it was anything except Channel, he weren’t getting in her knickers”
The teacher was led away crying

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Dont be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Have you heard of the Fukawi tribe?
They are all 3 foot tall and live in long grass which is 4 foot high.
They spend all their time jumping up and down shouting "We're the Fukawi! We're the Fukawi!"

 

[Skydrol]