The what now thread

[Philthy]

Seems to me like you are saying that you shouldnt bother trying with relationships because they won't work anyway?? Seems like a bit of a bitter outlook on life!

I'm gunna flip it and say, treat every relationship like she is the one for you, and I bet you will get a lot more out of it. Sure, it will hurt if it doesn't work out (as so many in this thread have found out), but then you just need to pick yourself up and find a way to use it to your advantage. Make yourself a better person out of it, make new friends. Hell, pack up and start again entirely if thats what it takes, but at least you gave it a shot, and no doubt had some fun memories from it all

 

[coolngroovy]

Seems to me like you are saying that you shouldnt bother trying with relationships because they won't work anyway??

Quite the opposite m8. Every relationship you have, from your first to the last, is practice for the 'one'.
It's those relationships which form part of our social structure as individuals. It's the stuff which allows us to grow as humans, both spiritually & socially. It is the avenue for us to try different things & broaden our horizons.
An example would be:...i didn't like chocolate icecream, but i dated a girl who did. If i hadn't dated her, i would never had tried chocolate icecream in the first place. Now i like it!
Ok, icecream might be a silly example, but substitute the word 'icecream' for something else. Does it make sence now?
If our relationship ended, then i would go into the next relationship with a different perspective. I would be a slightly different person, because not only do i now like chocolate icecream, but i also have learned to try things i normally wouldn't. That's growing as a person.
Strangely...it might be that skill which moves me onto the next relationship.

 

[Philthy]

Ahh yeah, I see what you are getting at now.
But I still have to disagree with looking at them like "practice". I guess its just a different outlook

 

[Rolla_Rolla']

had been tryna leave sa all my life, kept finding reasons to stay. friend of mine nearly had a relationship is in katoomba.... she reckons come visit her and her bf and chillout there.

I hate my new job and want to quit it, so an adventure out east sounds tempting

same as me man, i been trying to leave SA for a few years now, everything is in QLD i rekon, thats where im heading in the not to distant future

just pack ya car, fill up ya tank, throw a tent in, and hit the road for a few days with a mate, its good fun, clears ya head, good stuff man

 

[S.T.K.E]

everything is in QLD i rekon, thats where im heading in the not to distant future

Damn straight it is welcome to the sunshine state mate.

 

[fkford]

get hypnotized..it works i got it done and the girl got blocked out of my head for good i never think bout her

 

[acex1138]

the white picket fence comment, we know that is a stupid idea. i always got wierded out by all those people who thought they were with the one.

Theres nothing wrong with going after a girl who hasnt slept around. There's a nice in the middle bit

on one end you have hte damaged girls who sleep around and try to justify it, who we all know, there are a lot of issues there. and she's gonna be the one your on again off again with etc etc usual stories.

Other ends you got hte ones who are doing it for reasons.

In the middles the sweet sport, you find someone who hasnt slept around as much or has been waiting for someone who's worth it.

its more of a personal thing, some people are ok with it. no one is gonna have hte white picket fence thing. my sister thinks she has which is why she keeps pissing on my life and passing judgement.

Its what you make of things, not what you think it should be to a point where it consumes you.

For those who've been messaging me off this you know where i've been at of this. its all just part of being human and caring about others, who you are, and where your head is at.

Since friday i've been doing the human thing, i've been sad such a lovely thing ended, but glad it happened. It coming to an end made me sad it did, but also more happier it had happened, and a lot of stuff was just part of the grieving over the loss (yeah i know its not like anyone has died) got a little bit harder because a few of my friends werent around to help and i infact had to rise up to be there for them because worse things happened with them.

But like a lot of the guys here has said life goes on. still working out where to go, ideas are slowly forming. up until yesterday anyone could see i was hurting. The guys at work picked up on it and tried ot cheer me up.

After work yesterday somehow ended up chatting with a girl i met in a while back. and next thing we were at the beach and i had a whole afternoon of getting away from things and making a new friend.

Took her out for dinner and we both had an enjoyable night of getting our minds off stuff.

 

[dirt drifter]

Mate I do know what your going through, October last year i met this girl through my mate at the local lounge, we had a talk, laugh etc it went well, didn't hook up but i did get her number.

After about a week of calling her we organised a movie date, forget what movie we watched but after that night we went back to her place and it went from there. So we started seeing each other more often, I was loving it, i thought we had a best connection, we couldn't get enough of each other, anyway long story short, we were together for about 6 months and it was great, then randomly she stopped msging me, when i went to see her she barely spoke, within a week of this she asked if we could go on a break.

I don't believe in this 'break' **** so i pretty much said so we arn't seeing each other anymore, and that was it, 6 months of awesome times all changed around within a week.

I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, i was lost, my best mates had never seen me in this condition, they all came around threw me in the car and took me to the strippers to get pissed and what not. I was in that mopy mood for a good two weeks, then i actually thought to myself. If i keep this up then everythings going to come crashing down. I did go clubbing also, didn't go just to smash some box, I went to have a good time, some ladies would come up and dance with me but i didn't think anything of it and just had a bloody good time.

I changed my life dramatically, I started doing gym nearly every day, joined up to do a advanced diploma in computer engineering so kick start my certification and now i've got a job at a design bathroom company managing the servers and computers there, and they said when i've finished schooling i've got a full time postion waiting for me, im pretty much set.
Also after i'd eventually goten over her and moved on, she randomly started messaging me saying she was sorry and wants me back, but **** going through all that **** again so i said no and it was the best decision i've made

God dam i've written an essay, but i hope this helps mate

this bloke is onto it, run amok with ya mates and find something to do to better yourself. i've seen heaps of my mates go thru the exact same thing, some have the strength to pick themselves up and move on to bigger and better things while some never recover and mope around in a drink/drug induced stupor whinging about how life is so terrible.
i went out with a chick a while ago, the only one i've had who didnt want me just because i had a tough car (i was driving a heap of crap at the time) it was great, i treated her like a princess then one day she dumped me for her ex. it shattered me, i spent at least a month on a drunk/stoned bender then thought 'bugger this it's getting me nowhere' and threw myself into any work i could find, 4 years later somehow i went from building site labourer to heavy equipment operetor in the mines. the ex missus is kicking herself now i tell ya! im not sure i would be where i am today if not for that kick up the arse back in the day

 

[acex1138]

well guys. the last two weeks, my god. went from having my whole life together to where things are now.

Pretty much tryna pickup and still being forced down a downward spiral. Ill cut out all the drama, got forced out of my job after being assaulted by someone over nothing, dealing with everyone elses drama.

Now sitting back here with offers from mates interstate to come visit, had 3 job offers here including my old job back, but all of its more of the same and mostly backsteps.

So tempting to use all of this to build something new and start the next bit of my life, otherwise ill be like all those other people in adelaide who just 'ended up' having their lives here.

Last 2 weeks have pretty much been hell but have had some fun bits, caught up with some mates i havnt seen in ages for an epic bbq at hte beach sunday. Made some new friends out doing some stuff and cut a job out of my life that paid crap and treated me like it.

And as much as i hate it, still got something there for hte girl, havnt talked to her much its been hard, but if i leave SA... im still deciding whether to go see her before i go or just slip out. A lot of her friends have been standing by me, and think i need to do it.

Life changing stuff hey

 

[Chris E]

Thats the spirit man. Use it to further your life. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

A saying I like, "To achieve something you've never had before, you must do something you've never done before".

Take a leap and see where it goes.