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Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

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I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
 

Mavericks Choice

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Guys, if your marriage fails don't blame just her. It takes two people to turn a marriage into a toxic relationship......Blame her mother as well.
 

Mavericks Choice

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Went to the motor show, and as i parked up everyone from the BMW owners club rushed over and started pointing and videoing my old Toyota. That's when i realised I'd left the indicator on!..
 

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Last night on stage at the strip club was the ugliest dancer I've ever seen.
She danced up to me and said "Hey Handsome, what would you like me to take off first?"
I said "My glasses."
 

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My wife just woken up from a coma and thinks it's 2005. Which is great news. That's two years before i met her!
 

Mavericks Choice

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I have announced that on 29th July I will be opening up a nightclub called “The Cemetery”
People will be dying to get in there.
 

Mavericks Choice

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Did you know this about Albert Einstein?
Einstein was born March 14, 1879.
He would be 138, if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.
At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa “because she was so well endowed”.
(i.e., "Gigundo Mammaries!")
He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection.
This came to be known as…....Einstein’s Theory of RelativeTitty.”
 

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So many patient complaints since I built a huge house in the main Hospital ward.
They don't like my bedside Manor!
 

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I fried an egg on a car bonnet today which taught me 2 things
(1) It really is hot enough to fry an egg on a car bonnet
(2) People get really pissed off when you fry eggs on their car!
 
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