Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

I pulled up next to a Porche at the traffic lights and saw his window was down,

"Nice car mate, " I said. "Must've set you back a fair bit."

"£119,500." He replied with a smug grin on his face.

"Wow, just think," I said. "Another 500 and you could have got some fukking indicators fitted as well."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

At the hospital this morning I stared at my wife through the glass in disbelief.She kept drifting in then out, in then out, in then out.People were screaming and shouting and running frantically all over the place. Then a doctor screamed "she's crashing"!But thankfully, she noticed a bigger parking space in the next lane and pulled in there.
No wonder I'm in here for a fuking nervous breakdown.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear.

This can only mean one thing...

She's behind with the washing!

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I saw a young lady texting and driving yesterday. Her disregard for the other drivers really pissed me off, so I opened my window and threw my beer at her.

 

[ephect]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A man comes home at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Removes his shoes downstairs and goes upstairs carefully avoiding the creaking steps of the staircase.

Once in the sleeping room he sits down quietly on his side of the bed and begins to remove his socks.

Just when he attempts to remove the second sock his wife jumps up and furiously snaps "And now I would like to know which establishments are still open at 3 in the morning!".

The man starts putting his socks back on and says "I'll check this out immediately darling".