I have been following this thread for a while and can't believe why something so simple as wiring driving lights
has become so complicated.
Get rid of the relay and wiring that came with it. It's crap, too confusing and not needed.
Use your own relay and wiring.
I've done it the following way on a lot of 4x4's and never had any trouble.
Using a four pin 30 amp relay.....
Pin 85... to switch and then to light green wire (high beam earth wire VT/VZ) This wire is the switching side of your standard high beam lights.
Pins 86 and 30.... to Battery +12volts.
Pin 87... to + side of driving lights (wired in parallel)
Connect earth wires of driving lights to ground.
All that is happening is when the high beam is activated,
it turns on the relay (through pins 85 and 86), allowing power to flow through the connections (pins 30 and 87) to the driving lights.
Simple....
It doesn't mater which way pins 85 and 86 are wired, they are not polarity sensitive.
Just as long as one is + and the other one is -.
You can also put the switch on either pin 85 or 86, it doesn't matter.
If your standard high beam lights are POSITIVELY switched,
connect pin 86 to EARTH and leave the rest as described.
And all this is just from memory.
Using a 5 pin relay and wiring each light to pins 87 and 87a will not work, as when the relay is activated,
pins 87 and 87a are not joined as one connection.
I think that when the relay is off, pins 87a and 30 are connected and when the relay is activated,
pins 30 and 87 are connected. Or vice versa.